How to teach and talk about Self-Esteem and Self-Image with children.
They say ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’ but what does that mean? How do we teach children what self-image is in particular beauty? How do we show a child that they are beautiful no matter what they look like? Nowadays, this topic is relevant to discuss with boys as much as it is with girls. In modern-day, it is crucial to talk to children about what makes someone or something beautiful? Why?
What images of beauty does your child see daily?
Children see images of what beauty is supposed to be daily. Depending on societal norms that message of beauty can be very narrow. Before talking to your children about this topic, we recommend doing the activity at the end of this blog post with your family. Expanding the definition of beauty so that it includes not just physical characteristics is important. Most people agree that someone’s worth is not based on their looks; like skin colour, eye colour, features, gender, body shape, and size. We need to have a positive relationship with beauty and self-image from an early age.
Cheatsheet questions Perfect for Leading a Discussion about Beauty from the Professionals
- Who decides what or who is beautiful?
- Is beauty on the inside or outside or both?
- Should we focus on how beautiful someone is?
- Is it okay for beautiful people to make fun of others who might not fit that ‘beautiful image’?
- Which should be more important someone’s personality or external beauty?
- Should people be judged based on what they look like or how they are inside?
- Imagine your a very beautiful person based on societal standards of beauty, how do you think others treat you? How would that make you feel daily?
- Imagine your not beautiful at all based on the societal standard of beauty, how do you think others treat you? How would that make you feel daily?
“Be Your Own Kind of Beautiful.”
If you have not watched the movie Wonder, we highly recommend watching it with your family. This is a fantastic movie that helps teach children about compassion and not judging someone based on physical appearance. Wonder is written and produced beautifully. It depicts the harsh realities we see in schools when we are invited as professionals; the harmful effects of bullying. This movie also teaches us that the gems of people are in their character, personality, heart, soul, and not on their physical appearance. Make it a family movie this weekend. Furthermore, use the window of opportunity after the movie to talk about this topic.
Here is a little activity to do as a family or in your classroom about beauty and self-image. Give each person in the family or classroom (including yourself) three-pieces of paper. Then ask everyone to write one thing in each piece of paper that they see when they look in the mirror. Make sure to let everyone know not to write their name on the paper; this is supposed to be anonymous. Place all the pieces of paper in a bowl and mix them all up. Then take one piece of paper at a time and read what is written. As a group or family decide whether that is negative, positive, or neutral self-image. As you go through each piece of paper place them in different piles (Positive, Negative, and Neutral). In the end, look at which of the piles is the biggest and discuss why that may be. Following the activity is the perfect time to teach and have a discussion about beauty and self-image.
This small activity, movie, and discussion have great effects on children because it educates and creates the awareness necessary for children to thrive. Children who are educated and aware of social topics such as this are better equipped to not be bullied and also not to be the bullies themselves. As an added bonus; boys and girls who have a healthy self-image do well in relationships now and in the future.